SilverCross's Xanga

The art of letting go

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 02:23:01 GMT

I've learned something new today... i find that it's not difficult for me to persue certain things and try my best to do it until it's done... in fact, many things i try and try again until i get it right! but perhaps... sometimes it's better not to try so hard. Consider this, maybe sometimes we're chasing or persuing something so much and we're trying so hard, that we've never considered the possibility of letting it go for a bit. Though it sounds cryptic, it's true... all this time i've been worrying about school and studying... i find that i've lost myself in the chase, in the persuation and i've let it get the best of me... many times, i'd fret over school and feel absolutely drained and lifeless because of worries... but why can't I let it go for a change? why can't i just let things turn out the way it's supposed to? now i'm not saying that i'm giving up and no longer trying... there's a subtle difference between giving up and letting go i think... giving up implies: abandonment... whereas letting go i think, implies a feeling of release...releasing something unnecessary. In terms of school, i'd let go of my worries but never give up on it... this of course applies to many other things...

I think the day that i'm able to let go of my worries, I'd be a much happier person... in the mean time though, there is still much work to do

PS: somethings that are worth chasing tho, i don't think i can ever let go

Have a nice day

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 12:21:23 GMT

2007 really hasn't been my year so far...what a Great start to such a long long year... can't wait till Christmas and it's only January....

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 19:57:11 GMT

Wow... I guess through random boredom I've been browsing many xanga pages (or stalking as some like to call it). One thing I've noticed though, is how mysterious and cryptic certain posts are... not a bad thing at all actually, just a phenomenon I've been seeing a lot. Perhaps we're at the age at which certain problems cannot be merely described in words, which is quite sad :( .... ending off in a not-so-cryptic message:

I dont if I want to go to Urbana anymore.

It's freaking me out and i feel uncomfortable when i think about it... why? I don't know.. I know I said that I wanted to get ready for it... but I can't fight this weird feeling...

(PS: for those who don't know what it is.. it's a Christian Missions Trip)

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 14:20:46 GMT

Someone hates me.. seriously.. we have a potluck event at work. and I put "Potato Smiley Faces" for my dish someone put "Cop Out" next to my dish.. when two names away, someone's bringing "cheese and crackers" and a few more names away, someone is bringing "A Dish", then we have someone bringing store bought "Somosas"... guess I'll just keep my smiley faces at home and bring apple juice like i originally planned to... if i'm a cop out, might as well be the biggest cop out of them all

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 12:58:18 GMT

My life this week reminds me of one movie: Final Destination... You know the movie about how death is trying to get to you and at every corner.. something is trying to kill you? Well, in the past week, at least 3-4 ppl have cut in front of me at ~80km/h while i was doing 120 on the 401W.Just this morning, some woman pulled up behind me so quick i thought she was gonna ram into me too, then she cut me off but decided to pull away at the last minute? didn't understand why... but she almost hit another car which would've potentially caused a chain of collisions inevitably causing my death..

So my question now is this.. why are people so full or rage? I am personally a rageful person I admit... but more often than not, I speak of my rage but rarely act upon it.. many people can testify that I have rageful ramblings when I'm inside the car... but when it comes to actual action, the most i do is lift my hand up in disbelief.. I guess the stress of modern living is just too great for any human being to live a peaceful life.. everything is sooo fast.. so when anything goes a little slower.. patient levels drop drastically.. traffic is just one example. At work in the cafeteria.. we all only get 1/2 hr lunches, and honestly, what kind of lunch break is that? 1/2 hr is barely enough time to get ur food and sit down... once you sit down, theres about 5 mins left for eating. Hence most people take full hour lunches.. so why set company policy to 1/2 hr? to push everyone to eat faster? People are full or rage perhaps also because of everything that's going on in the world... and while we may not notice it outwardly.. all the negative news all around the world DOES take a toll. I eat with the TV on, hearing of Wars and shootings everyday everywhere.. and i feel myself being more and more frustrated and negative...
Anyways, the end of the world is here... our rage is killing us :( (it nearly killed me!)

have a nice day!

minus $1000

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 12:24:17 GMT

It has come! It's the best thing i've ever seen in my life.. I dare to say that my eyes were treated to a buffet of colours and 3d shapes never before though imaginable by me... even old games that used to make me angry have come to life to apologize for the pathetic graphics that they have imposed upon me... and i dare say that i will never dare play games on my laptop again for fear that they will turn me blind...

That was my reaction when I finally setup my new PC.... I rarely buy high priced items such as this for myself... but this is worth it.. Just hope I dont fail out of school cuz i spend too much time on Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy or Star Trek Bridge Commander (two of my games that i've tried so far)

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 13:49:29 GMT

wow, what a start to a day....

I woke up in the morning at 6:30am... then took my time in getting up.. by the time i got up from bed i looked at the clock and it was 6:50! and i had to get to work at 7:30 in mississauga.. so i rush to take a shower and get dressed etc. After the shower, i changed into my work clothes and went to get my lunch from the fridge. Then I realized that I didn't get my black socks.. so I walked into my room and went to pick my socks up from the floor.. Suddenly, BAM! something hit me in the left eye that sent my glasses flying... apparently, I had hit my eye on the corner of one of my bed posts and the impact was so great that it sent my glasses flying to the floor, bent and banged up. I held my eye in pain standing there for 2 minutes...... why did I miss the bed post? cuz it was pitch dark in my room and i was too lazy... + I was trying to pick up black socks in a black room... not a good idea actually... now I have red marks on the corner of my eye and it looked like i was in a fist fight ..... and lost. Guess it makes me look tough though...

Then later on, another dumb thing happened... i was in a meeting with my manager.. and prior to the meeting, i drank 4 cups of water... i guess u can see where this is going..... i waited for an hour in the meeting before i could pee.. the worst part was that she kept hinting that the meeting was gonna be over.. like

Manager: Ok, so everything is fine right?

Me: Yup, all the projects are on track!

Manager: Well, ok then.. oh wait... how about *name* do you know the status on that...etc.. someone got fired... etc... something something... the direction of the organization..... . . ..

Me: sigh...

I kept shifting around in the chair.. maybe she noticed and was punishing me and my kidneys... oh well.. with a damanged left eye and damaged kidneys... i believe nothing worse can happen to me today

have a nice day

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 22:02:25 GMT

Today my awesome workplace cafeteria had this whole seafood day event... they were selling whole lobsters with a side of corn and potatoes for $7.4 tax included! I've been looking forward to it the whole week... so i walk down to the caf today a little early (11:30) to line up for some lobster (i usually line up at 12) and i check my wallet to find that i only brought $6..... sigh... so very sad... the closest thing i could get was the seafood pizza which was $4.25 and to my amusement... had large chunks of lobster as well...regardless... lining up for the pizza, i must've had a sad face again... cuz the chef saw me all sad with my $4.25 in hand cuz when no one else was looking he snuck in chunks of lobster, a prawn and a mussel and gave me a wink.... to which the woman behind me said to her co-worker: "I think he just got extra seafood" and she gave me a glare.... hmm.. the type of glare you get when ur in hong kong and u step on someone's foot on the subway.....

guess i do have a sad face afterall... and it pays off ... i had a nice day... hope u Have a nice day too!

Small Kindness

Thu, 31 Aug 2006 00:18:18 GMT

I was at Pacific yesterday with Esther just trying to get a good deal on glasses... and until you shop for glasses, you won't believe how much the price can vary.. from $400 frames to $60 for the lens and frame inclusive and of course, no TAX la at chinese store... (eww.)

anyways, after asking around for a few stores, we both felt hungry and wanted to eat... so Esther ordered her usual spicy salmon sushi... and i walk off to get me some fried pork (siu yoek) with rice.. i went to the usual store that i go to: shark fin city... which has more than shark fin really.. and whose name actually kinda sounds like a horror movie too.. hehe.. but yes, they have amazing fried pork.. so i walked up to the counter and looked around where the meat usually is... and the lady asked me what i wanted... i stated my request for some fried pork but they had none... and i guess at that point i must've had a sad face... cuz the lady told me she'd give me some fried pork skin (cruchy) onto whatever rice i'd order... so i got the bbq duck rice which is also amazing....then it was time to pay.. i looked in my wallet and i had one 5 dollar bill and a few coins.. barely enough for the rice.. again, the lady must've seen.... cuz while the meat cutting man was doing his job (cutting the meat), i lip-read the lady and she said "just give it all to him"... i stood aside so as to hide my smiling face and when my rice was ready... they actually gave their remaining chunk of pork with skin to go with my rice... it's kinda like a free supersize upgrade at mcdonalds....she gave me a nod and i smiled a big smile.. i got my extra fried pork..

it's great how small things can really make someone's day....i guess the lady must've thought i was poor and that i wanted to spend whatever small amount of money i had left in my wallet to get their fried pork...

hence, if you get the chance, DO try to do help others in whatever small way you can.... it might do more than u think and make someone's day

i went home and i told my dad and the first thing he said was "the person who took ur order must've been an "ah sum" or "over-the-hill" lady... and he was right.. perhaps he got some free pork too?

PS: Esther was not jealous

Have a nice day

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 15:43:56 GMT

So I walked into the classroom today early for my exam and I saw this diagram on the board, crudely drawn and it seems a little wrong..... then I see my professor walk up to me.. and he's a nice guy... He gave me a look... as if wanting to see me react to something somehow.... so i pointed to the diagram and said ".....nerds...." cuz i thought one of my other classmates had drawn the diagram.... he then gave me this distasteful look as if i said something wrong.... ignoring him, i went out for a walk... only then did i realize that he drew the diagram... haha