The art of letting go

I've learned something new today... i find that it's not difficult for me to persue certain things and try my best to do it until it's done... in fact, many things i try and try again until i get it right! but perhaps... sometimes it's better not to try so hard. Consider this, maybe sometimes we're chasing or persuing something so much and we're trying so hard, that we've never considered the possibility of letting it go for a bit. Though it sounds cryptic, it's true... all this time i've been worrying about school and studying... i find that i've lost myself in the chase, in the persuation and i've let it get the best of me... many times, i'd fret over school and feel absolutely drained and lifeless because of worries... but why can't I let it go for a change? why can't i just let things turn out the way it's supposed to? now i'm not saying that i'm giving up and no longer trying... there's a subtle difference between giving up and letting go i think... giving up implies: abandonment... whereas letting go i think, implies a feeling of release...releasing something unnecessary. In terms of school, i'd let go of my worries but never give up on it... this of course applies to many other things...

I think the day that i'm able to let go of my worries, I'd be a much happier person... in the mean time though, there is still much work to do

PS: somethings that are worth chasing tho, i don't think i can ever let go

Have a nice day

2007 really hasn't been my year so far...what a Great start to such a long long year... can't wait till Christmas and it's only January....

Wow... I guess through random boredom I've been browsing many xanga pages (or stalking as some like to call it). One thing I've noticed though, is how mysterious and cryptic certain posts are... not a bad thing at all actually, just a phenomenon I've been seeing a lot. Perhaps we're at the age at which certain problems cannot be merely described in words, which is quite sad :( .... ending off in a not-so-cryptic message:

I dont if I want to go to Urbana anymore.

It's freaking me out and i feel uncomfortable when i think about it... why? I don't know.. I know I said that I wanted to get ready for it... but I can't fight this weird feeling...

(PS: for those who don't know what it is.. it's a Christian Missions Trip)

Someone hates me.. seriously.. we have a potluck event at work. and I put "Potato Smiley Faces" for my dish someone put "Cop Out" next to my dish.. when two names away, someone's bringing "cheese and crackers" and a few more names away, someone is bringing "A Dish", then we have someone bringing store bought "Somosas"... guess I'll just keep my smiley faces at home and bring apple juice like i originally planned to... if i'm a cop out, might as well be the biggest cop out of them all

My life this week reminds me of one movie: Final Destination... You know the movie about how death is trying to get to you and at every corner.. something is trying to kill you? Well, in the past week, at least 3-4 ppl have cut in front of me at ~80km/h while i was doing 120 on the 401W.Just this morning, some woman pulled up behind me so quick i thought she was gonna ram into me too, then she cut me off but decided to pull away at the last minute? didn't understand why... but she almost hit another car which would've potentially caused a chain of collisions inevitably causing my death..

So my question now is this.. why are people so full or rage? I am personally a rageful person I admit... but more often than not, I speak of my rage but rarely act upon it.. many people can testify that I have rageful ramblings when I'm inside the car... but when it comes to actual action, the most i do is lift my hand up in disbelief.. I guess the stress of modern living is just too great for any human being to live a peaceful life.. everything is sooo fast.. so when anything goes a little slower.. patient levels drop drastically.. traffic is just one example. At work in the cafeteria.. we all only get 1/2 hr lunches, and honestly, what kind of lunch break is that? 1/2 hr is barely enough time to get ur food and sit down... once you sit down, theres about 5 mins left for eating. Hence most people take full hour lunches.. so why set company policy to 1/2 hr? to push everyone to eat faster? People are full or rage perhaps also because of everything that's going on in the world... and while we may not notice it outwardly.. all the negative news all around the world DOES take a toll. I eat with the TV on, hearing of Wars and shootings everyday everywhere.. and i feel myself being more and more frustrated and negative...
Anyways, the end of the world is here... our rage is killing us :( (it nearly killed me!)

have a nice day!